


Life Is Like A Game Of Exploding Snap

by roelliej



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Sex, Community: dracoharry100, Community: hogwarts365, Enchanted_Jae's Monthly Drabble Challenge, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Language, M/M, Oral Sex, Rating: NC17, Rimming, Suggestive Themes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-21
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-04-16 12:29:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 3,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4625397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roelliej/pseuds/roelliej
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Draco is mesmerized by a game of Exploding Snap...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [capitu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/capitu/gifts), [my_thestral](https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_thestral/gifts), [lyonessheart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyonessheart/gifts).



> Happy Fanfiction Writers Appreciation Day to you all! <3

Potter’s tongue was stuck between his teeth, while he tapped the identical cards with his wand. Draco had to admit that Potter was good. He was superb.

“Faster, Harry. You’re going to beat the Hogwarts record!”

“Zip it, Hermione!”

“Good luck, Potter...”

Potter raised his head, looking at Draco, before several cards exploded with a loud bang.

“Git!”

“Ronald!”

“I’m so sor... ” Draco whispered, but fell silent when Potter touched his cheek.

“It's only a game, Draco,” Potter said, smiling. “No hard feelings.”

“I doubt that,” Granger whispered, giggling softly.

“Zip it, Hermione,” Draco huffed, while covering his reddening cheeks.


	2. Chapter 2

Potter’s tongue was stuck between his teeth, while he did something magical with his wand. Potter was good.

“Faster, Harry. You’re going to beat the Hogwarts record!”

“Good luck, Potter...”

Potter raised his head, smiling shyly. Draco looked around. Weasley and Granger were gone. So were his pants. And his cock too. Being consumed by Potter’s mouth. Over and over again. Until...

“Potter, stop...”

Draco cried out, exploding in Potter’s eager mouth.

“I’m so sor... ”

“It's only a game, Draco. No hard feelings.”

Draco woke up with a soft cry, his boxers damp. He hated it when Granger was right...


	3. Chapter 3

“Checkmate!” Pansy cried out, jumping up and down, while her queen decapitated Draco’s king by brutally ripping its head off with its bare hands.

“Beginner’s luck,” Draco grumbled.

“I’ve beaten you at last,” Pansy said, high-fiving Nott and Zabini, while dancing around Draco.

“I was already beaten.”

“What do you mean?” Pansy whispered worriedly, sending her other friends away with a wave of her hand.

“Forget it.”

“It’s Potter, eh? I knew it.”

“How do...? Right, you’re Queen Gossip.”

“I could help,” Pansy said, ignoring Draco’s sneer.

“You could?”

“Just one tiny condition.”

“What?” Draco said eagerly.

“I want Weasley.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Weasley? A word?”

Draco felt his heart pounding in his throat when he saw Weasley glaring at him. The blonde had to admit that his behaviour was suspicious. The animosity between the two boys had diminished a bit, but they only tolerated each other because of Potter.

Draco heard Hermione whispering to her boyfriend, but he didn’t follow her into the classroom.

“What?”

Draco knew he had to come clean.

“Pansy wants a date with you.”

“Alright.”

“What?”

“But it will cost you.”

“You want money?”

“No, you wanker. A blowjob.”

“You should ask Pan...”

“Not from Parkinson. From you.”


	5. Chapter 5

“Well?” Pansy said eagerly as she and Draco made their way to the Great Hall for dinner. “Are you making progress with Ronald?”

“Not now,” Draco hissed, on the brink of a panic attack.

“Fuck it, Draco,” Pansy whispered angrily, while directing Draco to the statue of Grimbold The Moody and cornering him there. “Don’t you dare playing games with me.  What’s wrong?”

Draco knew that this was the _grande finale_. A dozen excuses were popping up in his creative mind.  He had always been an expert in lying. Even Snape believed, or pretended to believe, his excuses about his homework being eaten by the cat. Why the fuck couldn’t he lie to Pansy? Draco knew he had to come clean and admit to his best friend that he had failed. He hated failure. But he still had his pride. Draco would rather die than getting on his knees to suck off Ronald fucking Weasley!

“Weasley wants a date with you,” Draco whispered, still searching for a way out. He quickly realised there wasn’t any.

“That’s brilliant,” Pansy squeaked as she pulled Draco into a hug. “Merlin, you’re the best.”

Draco liked hearing that he was the best. It was the undeniable truth, but still. He cleared his throat.

“Draco?”

“There’s a _but_.”

“Circe, I hope there will be a butt. I would love to set my teeth into those delicious...”

“Weasley wants something in return,” Draco said. Drops of sweat started to form on his forehead.  Before Pansy could open her mouth, Draco spilled. “He wants me to fellate him.”

“What? I didn’t know Ron was into religion.”

“Not faith, you bint,” Draco snapped impatiently. “He asked me to suck his cock.”

Draco closed his eyes, preparing for what was about to come. She definitely would call Weasley a pervert, probably hexing him the next time she saw him and Draco would never have the chance again to get closer to Potter...

There was silence. Pansy even talked in her sleep, so she must have been in total shock. Draco opened his eyes and saw Pansy smirking.

“What the fuck are you laughing about? I just told you that your potential lover likes cock.”

“I like cock,” Pansy said. “You like cock. Ron likes cock. So?”

“So?” Draco hissed. “Are you fucking braindead? He wants his cock in my mouth. Not in yours. In mine!”

“A cock’s a cock.”

“Definitely not. I like cock, don’t get me wrong. I like Potter’s cock. I like Potter’s cock in my mouth. I like Potter’s cock in my arse. I like Potter’s cock everywhere.”

“And how would you know that?” Pansy retorted.  “You have never seen Potter’s cock, except in your filthy mind.”

“So?”

“If you only could forget your pride for a while, you have to admit that Ron is pretty handsome.”

Draco had to admit. Ron wasn’t ugly. He was many things. Poor, for example. Not ugly. Not ugly at all.

“Pansy? What are you trying to say?”

“You could at least think about it,” Pansy whispered. “For me.”

“That’s not fair!”

“You could find out if the rumours are true.”

“What kind of rumours?” Draco said, a tiny bit curious.

“I overheard Brown talking to Patil. She and Ron had had a thing a couple of years ago.”

“Come on, Pansy.  Everyone knows that.”

“But did you know that they did more than just kiss? Did you know that every time Brown did something to Ron, she had a sore throat for days?”

“You mean...that Weasley’s big?” Draco whispered, his cheeks flushed and his cock half hard.

“You know how big Brown’s mouth is. He must be enormous. According to the rumours, of course.”

Draco’s cock was leaking pre-come and he really needed a wank.

“So how about Ron and my date?”

“I think we can sort things out.”

“Attaboy.”


	6. Chapter 6

Draco moaned, his sexual outbursts silenced with an effective spell, as thoughts of Weasley fucking his mouth were joining forces with his right hand. He closed his eyes and opened his mouth, trying the best he could to taste cock.

“Blow your load down my throat!” Draco exclaimed, fisting his cock like a madman as Weasley’s cock slipped in and out of Draco’s mouth.

Draco was close. He felt his balls tightening and right before he came, Weasley changed into Potter.

Maybe Potter was even bigger. Draco smiled, while cleaning up his mess.  Weasley was the beginning. Potter the finale.


	7. Chapter 7

“What a fucking idiot I’ve been,” Malfoy hissed, pushing Ron against the wall of the Gryffindor Boys' dormitory, while ripping the clothes off his flushed body. “Call it controversial, but I think that I prefer your cock up my arse instead of Potter’s.”

Ron felt a sting of guilt as his best friend was mentioned. He knew that Harry had a thing for Malfoy, but how on earth could he say “no” to Slytherin’s randiest bad boy on all fours, begging to be speared like a stuck pig? Harry would understand. Definitely.

Ron bit his lip, knowing that he was fooling himself, but his unease was sucked out of him as Malfoy took him into his mouth. Ron felt Malfoy’s tongue twirling over the tip and lapping up the pre-come as his head bobbed up and down.

Malfoy was good. Too good for an adolescent, to be honest, but Ron didn’t give a fuck. A low groan left his mouth as his orgasm washed over him, shooting his load down Malfoy’s throat. Malfoy swallowed greedily, while continuing to stroke Ron’s shaft, like he was hoping for more.

As soon as Malfoy made sure there was nothing left, he wiped his mouth and pulled Ron close for a sloppy, lust-filled kiss. Ron groaned as Malfoy’s tongue roughly entered him, his hands caressing Ron’s back. Ron felt his arousal reviving, especially when Malfoy teasingly rubbed his  hard cock over the redhead’s muscled abdomen, decorating him with pre-come.

“Want me to suck that?” Ron moaned into Malfoy’s mouth, nodding towards the blonde’s impressive prick.

“Fuck me!” Malfoy gasped, his voice husky with need. “Fuck me nice and proper, then you’ll have my permission to suck me to orgasm.”

Ron’s head swam with lust as he pushed Draco onto one of the couches. He dropped to his knees, spread Malfoy’s arse cheeks and plunged his tongue into the fluttering hole, savouring the unique taste.

“Fuck, Weasley!” Malfoy cried, keeping his legs up with his hands. “I want your co...”

Both boys groaned in unison as Ron unexpectedly entered his lover. Ron’s mouth fell open, shouting without sound, as Malfoy’s warmth took the best of him. This must be heaven.


	8. Chapter 8

“What’s this? The wizarding world’s golden boy drinking away his petty sorrows, while reading something heavy and depressing?”

Piggy Parkinson! There had to be a piece of paper nailed onto Harry’s back with “Pester Potter” written on it. Exams on the way accompanied with a shitload of _motivating_ homework and even a year after the war, people still wondered how exactly Harry had triumphed over Voldemort and demanded specific details about the Malfoy’s wand-plottwist. Most of the days Harry could muster a smile and ignoring them. Not today. Not when Ron wasn’t around to brighten his foul mood. Or Draco to make him smile. Why couldn’t people leave him alone for just one fucking minute to drown in selfpity?

“Yeah, that pumpkin juice is really starting to knock me out,” Harry said, without looking up. “I reckon there must be a reason that you require my attention. If not, feel free to continue going all Slytherin on me. Ignoring you would really brighten this shitty day.”

“What’s going on?” The sharp, paranoid voice of Madam Pince cut through Parkinson’s upcoming sneer. “Why are you talking? When the sublime letters of a beautiful book are satisfying your brains, there’s no need to use your vocal cords.”

“Yes, Parkinson?” Harry sneered. “Why are you talking, Madam Pince asked?”

“Well?” Madam Pince snapped impatiently, her hooked nose nearly piercing Parkinson’s left eye.

“I needed Potter’s assistance with a rare book,” Parkinson mumbled, her cheeks flushed and sweaty.

“I didn’t know you could read... ”

“And what does Potter know about rare books, if I may ask?” Madam Pince hissed, her eyes flickering dangerously. “The last time I checked, _I_ was Hogwarts librarian!”

“This is a very special book,” Pansy mumbled. “Something only Potter knows about.”

“You dare?!” Madam Pince almost shrieked. “I’ve never been... in my own library...”

“Madam Pince, I have absolutely no idea what Piglet is talking...”

“OUT! OUT! THE BOTH OF YOU! OUT!!”

Harry and Parkinson ran for their lives as several heavy books kept following them, while smacking them around the ears.

“Thanks a lot, you raving loon!” Harry roared, after making sure that the furious librarian had stopped her assault. “How the fuck am I supposed to finish my Transfigurationpaper without the proper books? Pince will kil mel if I ever sat a foot in the library... AND WHY THE FUCKING FUCK ARE YOU SMILING, YOU VICIOUS BIMBO?!”

“You still have your delicious pumpkin juice,” Parkinson said calmly, not even a bit affected by Harry’s rude remarks.

“My pumpkin juice... ” Harry said confused, breathing heavily. He hadn’t even noticed that he was still holding the cup in his hand. “What... ”

Before Harry could react, he was covered in sticky liquid, his cup lying on the floor as Parkinson sprinted to one of the shortcuts behind Stradivarius The Mean, roaring with laughter.

“I live to suffer, I really do,” Harry growled under his breath, as he walked to Gryffindor Tower while trying the best he could to ignore Peeves’s filthy double entendres about him being wet between the legs.

 

~*~

 

“What happened to you?”

Hermione Granger. Best friend and part-time Miss Obvious.

“Even pumpkin juice hates me,” Harry sneered, but still managed to prevent a you-should-report-to-the-headmistress-argument by kissing Hermione’s cheek as an excuse. “I promise I will leave my bad temper on the nightstand before coming down.”

He saw Hermione smiling with a hint of suspicion visible on the corners of her mouth, but she spoke no more as Harry made his way to the boys’ dormitory.

“Hello, Harry.”

“Hi, Luna,” Harry said, and for the first time on this miserable day he felt that life was not so bad after all as he looked into the dreamy eyes of his friend.

“Are you going to your dormitory?” Luna asked, her cork necklace making a calming sound as she spoke, like it was bewitched to sense bad tempers.

The most obvious answer would be “duh”, but Harry didn’t want to take out his anger on her. She didn’t deserve that.

“Why do you ask?”

“Perhaps it’s just a Sneering Sniper devouring all the pillows, but the animalistic sounds coming from your dormitory are troubling my roommates.”

Harry pricked up his ears and, indeed, a sound was coming from the room, although he was pretty sure it wasn’t a Sneering Sniper. Without warning Luna, Harry took his wand of his pocket and kicked the door open. As soon as he entered, Harry knew that there _was_ something that could make this day even more miserable.

Malfoy was lying on Ron’s bed, naked and looking extremely hot, his eyes closed in uppermost concentration as Ron’s face was buried in Malfoy’s privates, sucking and slurping rather vulgarly. A flood of conflicting feelings flooded over Harry's body. While Harry’s cock started to swell as the two boys continued their passionate lovemaking, a strong sense of betrayal began rearing its ugly head in his heart and bringing him to the edge of tears. Et tu, Ronald?

A wail of pleasure, a sound of gagging and the feeling of warm, salty tears on heated che...

“You should definitely swallow that, Ron. It’s a good remedy against Nargles who crossed over to the dark side.”


	9. Chapter 9

If Weasley had been slurping like this at the Weasley’ dining table, his mother would have smacked him, Draco thought, surrendering himself to the tickling throbbing in his cock, buried in the ginger’s warm mouth. He wasn’t an etiquette-expert right now.

Although orgasm aftershocks were still trembling—Draco could still feel the pleasurable soreness in his hole and sticky spunk spoiling the sheets—Weasley’s suck-stamina hadn’t been affected at all.

Draco came... _hard_... being watched by Potter and Lovegood...

Ignoring her babbling, Draco opened his mouth.

“This is not what it looks like.”

That cliché had never sounded _that_ lame...


	10. Chapter 10

A loud bang boomed through the Gryffindor common room, resulting in Hermione’s mug of tea colliding with Dennis Creevey’s face.

“I’m sorry, Dennis,” Hermione muttered apologetically, waving her wand to remove the hot tea from Dennis’s skin.

“No problem,” Dennis squeaked enthusiastically, like nothing had happened. “I heard from Parkinson that there was a fight going on in the boys’ dormitory.”

“What fight?” Hermione said sharply. “What... ”

**_“WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS IS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE?! DO YOU TAKE ME FOR A FOOL, DRACO FUCKING MALFOY?!”_ **

“Is that Harry?” Dennis whispered before another bang knocked him off his feet again.

**_"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS, JUDAS!”_ **

“Shut up,” Hermione hissed, producing a Cushion Charm without looking at Dennis.

_**“I BEG YOUR PARDON?! IS THAT YOUR COCK IN RON’S MOUTH OR NOT?!”** _

“Hermione, where are you going?”

“Giving you the fight you came for.”


	11. Chapter 11

Harry’s rage caved in as he saw the shocked expressions on the boys’ faces. He was lucky that Draco had superb reflexes, or Harry might have done more damage apart from blowing up all four-poster beds.

“Harry, I’m coming to you,” Ron said cautiously. In other circumstances, Harry would have found that particularly funny, since Ron’s cock was still semi-erect when he approached Harry. Apparently Ron hadn’t notice. Or he didn’t care.

“Weasley, be careful,” Draco said sharply, Harry’s wand still in his hand. “He may be without a weapon, but his fists still can do damage. Can’t you see the madness in his eyes?”

“He won’t hurt me,” Ron said, trying to sound self-assured as his hand found Harry’s shoulder. “Do you want to, Harry?”

“No,” Harry said wearily. “I just want to... “ Harry’s eyes travelled from Ron’s hesitating smile to his cock. It wasn’t semi-erect anymore. Ron noticed, too...

“Harry... ”

“Weasley, look out!”

Harry deployed the only weapon he had left and sucker punched his best mate... with his lips.


	12. Chapter 12

Harry was free as a bird, flying through the air without a worry in the world. His lips were still attached to his best mate’s—Harry had never tasted anything that delicious before—and he wished that they would never have to part again.

Perfection was known for not lasting long, and as soon as Harry opened his eyes and felt like his chest had collided with a cargo boat (or a powerful Impediment Jinx), he realised that something was wrong. Mostly because of his face merging with a particularly hard wall and his kissing-companion crashing into a table, wood flying in all directions.

Harry groaned, crawling to Ron while searching for his missing front tooth. Harry carefully turned Ron around and saw blood dripping from the redhead’s nose and mouth.

“Ron?” Harry whispered. “Please wake up...”

“Look what you did, you hysterical cunt! You killed my... my fu... You have slain Weasley!”


	13. Chapter 13

“OUCH! Don’t push! I want to look, too!” Dennis Creevey cried out, jumping up and down to no avail. There were too many students, most (if not all) of them listening to the racket coming from the dormitories.

“Let me through! Move, or by Merlin, I’ll persuade the Nargles between your ears to attack your unmentionables!”

“Loon...er... Luna, is that y... OUCH!” Dennis was knocked sideways and on his way to collide with the rocking chair. He closed his eyes, waiting for the excruciating pain to come. It never came as Dennis was stopped in midair, slowly descending towards the floor.

“I’m so sorry, Dennis,” Luna said, touching Dennis’s cheek to make sure he was alright. “I have to get Madam Pomfrey.”

“Why?” Dennis squeaked curiously, trying to grab Luna’s arm. “What happened? Is someone hurt?”

“I have no time to waste,” Luna said as she made her way to the portrait hole.  Dennis got himself back on his feet and ran after the weird acting Ravenclaw.

“Luna, wait for me!” Dennis shouted as he was slowly closing in on Luna. “Is it Harry? Is he... OUCH!”

The air was drained from Dennis’s lungs as a muscled boy collided with his petite person, knocking them both to the ground.

“For fuck’s sake!” Dennis snarled, finally losing his patience. “Has someone tattooed _welcome_ on my forehead or... ” His heart skipped a beat as Dennis looked into the eyes of Neville Longbottom, war-hero and commonly known as the Snake Slayer.

“I’m so sorry, Dennis,” Neville said softly, his breath travelling over Dennis’s  earlobe. “I heard something about a fight and... ”

Both boys fell silent and Dennis swallowed audibly.

“Is that what I think it is?” Neville said, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m sorry,” Dennis said, his voice high-pitched and filled with embarrassment. “If you could remove yourself from my person... ”

A sly grin appeared on Neville’s lips. He truly lived up to his reputation...


	14. Chapter 14

“Fucking hell,” Ron groaned as he opened his eyes. “My head’s pounding as if my skull has been cracked.”

“Like a piñata,” a familiar voice said, coming from the bed next to Ron. “With compliments from Hermione Granger.”

“I probably deserved it, Harry,” Ron said hoarsely as the excruciating headache nearly made him throwing up his dinner.

“You did,” Harry said straightforwardly. “So did I. I think it’s best for our health that we stay out of Hermione’s way for a couple of centuries.”

“What have I done?” Ron said, more to himself. “I shagged Malfoy, for fuck’s sake. And I still own bloody Parkinson a date.”

“Wait a minute. You were planning to shag Parkinson, too?”

“A date, Harry... ”

“That’s what I said, Ron!” Harry said sharply. “And did you forget that you kissed me?”

“You weren’t actually resisting!” Ron snapped back. “And you started it, damn you!”

“That’s not the point!” Harry hissed angrily as he turned away from Ron.

An awkward silence filled the hospital wing and for a time there was nothing but the sound of two boys breathing rather loudly.

“Harry?”

“Hmmm...”

“Are you still mad at me?”

“Hmmm... ”

“Do you want to kiss and make up?”

“What did you say?” Harry asked, but he knew that he heard it correctly.

“Why don’t you come over for a snog?” Ron said huskily. “Please, Harry.”

A smile appeared on Harry’s face. The thought of kissing Ron again made his palms sweaty and blood started to flow down south. Harry threw away his blanket and set a foot out of bed.

“Stop right there, Mr Potter!”

Madam Pomfrey.

“You adolescents and your hormones!” she grouched. “What does it take to gain some self-control, when even the wrath of a woman doesn’t do anything? Back to bed!”

“Yes, Madam Pomfrey.”

“And don’t look so smug, Weasley. I’ll keep a close watch on the both of you.”

“Yes, Madam Pomfrey.”

“And hands above the covers, gentlemen.”


	15. Chapter 15

“Be gone, foul wench!” Draco said sharply, taking out his wand as he came eye-to-eye with Granger. “I’ll fight you to the death, if I have to!”

“Drop your wand! I come in peace.”

“Well?” Draco said suspiciously as they both took a seat before the fireplace. “Speak quickly!”

“I did wrong, Draco.”

“Right you are!”

“So did you! You had no right—fornicating with my boyfriend!  We were celebrating our...”

“He didn’t object! Don’t blame this all on me!”

“Draco, please. We have a common loved one.”

“... ”

“It’s Harry, and don’t say otherwise.”

“I don’t.”

“Truce?”

“Truce.”


	16. Chapter 16

Harry was staring at the ceiling like there wasn’t anything more interesting in the world. He bit his lip, trying his best not to groan as Ron was setting his cock on fire under the covers. He felt Ron’s tongue exploring the swollen head, his moist lips moving up and down over his cock, and his hand stroking the stiff shaft.

 “She still asleep?”

“Y-yeah...d-don’t stop...”

“Don’t want to be Transfigured into a boar,” Ron whispered slyly.

 Harry was staring at the ceiling, his mouth opened as pleasure was pulsing white-hot in his groin. There definitely was something more interesting.


End file.
